Numbers are funny. Some do make sense, and some doesn’t when it spoken out loud;
24 years old. Am I really reaching a quarter of century?
7 years since I graduated high school. Has it been that long?
Parents reaching 50+ years old. Are they getting old that fast?
The year is 2021. What happened to 2020?
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One thing about numbers, it gave us this idea at the back of our head that tells us to do something about it. The bugging voice keeps telling us that we need to do something different than usual because these numbers will change and it will only goes up.
Personally, since my birthday has passed, I grew to accept that I will be attached to the number 24 for the next 12 months. In relation to that, I will also be attached to these traits I assumed a 24 years old adult should have; a career, stable income, less personal & mental issues, a healthy relationship and less reliance on parents. But, now that I am finally 24; have I fully attain all these traits? Quite the contrary.
But the bugging voice keeps telling me to do something about it; or else. Or else what? Or else, I’ll be left behind. One step behind from the rest. Discreetly judged by the society for the lacking of achievements for my age. I feel I’m in a constant race against time, against the stereotypes, against myself; either you do or you’ll be left behind.
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“But will you be happy in the process if you’re chasing everything at one time?”, Mama asked, every time I rose the issue to her.
She got a point, maybe…
..maybe I won’t be happy. Maybe I will be in a constant stress and fear of due dates that I failed to adhere. Maybe, in this context, age is just a social construct that made us believe that we need to achieve a certain accomplishment in a certain period of time to stay valid.
As I grew older, the bugging voice were more distinct and louder; but my support system is stronger. Will I choose rapid and drastic forced self development at the expense of my own happiness and self growth? Safe to say, I won’t. But will I try my best to give my best? Absolutely.
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Numbers really are funny. They made us think a lot, about everything surrounding it and affecting by it.
