I don’t like boys.
Even when I was young, I don’t like them. Reasons may vary from petty issues such as ‘calling me emotional and dramatic when all I was trying to do was getting the job done instead of playing around’ to a more serious issues like sexualizing and objectifying my body; inappropriate touching without consent; sexual jokes and remarks; constantly being catcalled and downgrading my self-worth into believing that maybe I was actually inferior than man.
“You’re always fighting with boys, always getting into arguments with them. You’re so garang, my dear.”
Why shouldn’t I be, ma? If I don’t, they’ll take advantage of me and of other girls. If I don’t, they’ll think it’s okay to cross the boundaries because no one is setting it. You don’t raised me to hide away, ma. You raised me to fight.
“Kata tak suka lelaki, but you yourself have a lot of guy friends. Still hangout with them some more. ”
Yes, I do like few of the nice ones and worth the keep. Always make sure I and other girls in the group felt secured; doesn’t cross the platonic boundaries and would no doubt stand against guys who would made us felt otherwise.
…
But that’s the thing, isn’t it? When girls say how they’re uncomfortable with guys or how they don’t like them, they would be quick to point their fingers back to us, trying to gaslight the situation and called us petty for declaring an unnecessary war; girls vs boys.
Never in their mind would thought that, maybe, the girls were uncomfortable with guys because they were either harassed or abuse or were being unfairly treated. Maybe, the girls don’t like guys because they had to go through some shitty trauma that they couldn’t even bring it up themselves. Maybe.
Not gonna lie, I was scared. I was especially anxious and nervous if I had to be in a male-dominated space or organization. I would avoid walking by a place with a lot of guys, let alone to be by myself when doing so. Sure, not all guys are problematic. But how would I know if they are or they’re not? Instead of telling us to differentiate the good ones from the bad ones, why can’t you try to create a safer space and environment for girls, hm?
But I learnt through time and experience, that being constantly scared won’t take me anywhere. In an embedded patriarchal system and mysogynistic society, there’s no space for weak girls. We’re living in a man’s world; we have no one but each other to lift up and support.
…
I stand with all the movement that fight against injustice and discrimination, regardless to whom they were subjected to, ie; woman, children, elder people, disabled, marginalized and minorities.
Girls will fight, but not against man. Girls fight against injustice and prejudice. If you can’t tell the difference, then maybe you are the problem.
